Monday, May 17, 2010

Table Topics Tuesday: Bitter Pill

 Is it harder to be honest or kind?

I am an innately bad liar. Always have been. As a child, my mom could always tell. It might have been the way I stumbled over the words. Or how I giggled. Or it might have been the fact that I flushed from chest to cheeks. Whatever the case, I am terrible at it. Age and time have not improved this skill. To this day, I can not lie to bosses, husband, friends, parents, ANYONE. Even over the phone. It is my Achilles Heel.

But what that means is that I am not good at false praise. If someone asks me how something looks and I honestly don't think it looks good, I am powerless to resist telling them the truth. I try to be as kind as I possibly can. It is not my intention to be hurtful, although unfortunately, I imagine sometimes that is the result. I always make the effort to say the nice thing. I will skirt the issue rather than be mean. But I can't/won't lie.

Yeah, I'm popular.

But I am a glass half full kind of gal. I'd like to think there is an upside. And that is that when I say something, people believe it.

Or they hate me and stomp off calling me a heartless bitch. But that's the half empty side, and we're not thinking like that today. So let's go with they appreciate my candor. Yep, that's the thing.

Now go visit Shannon to see what everyone is talking about!


Photobucket
Posted by CaraBee at 10:15 PM
Labels:

19 comments:

  1. I cannot lie, either. Which kind of sucks sometimes!
    ReplyDelete
  2. Great response, and a slightly different way of looking at the question than I had.
    ReplyDelete
  3. We need people like you to keep it real form the rest of us.
    ReplyDelete
  4. It's all in the wording. But IMO, it's better to be honest than to send someone off looking ridiculous. Think about it....wouldn't you rather hear the gentle truth and be embarrassed in front of one person? Or be lied to and have people snickering behind your back?
    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes, honesty is good. I'd much rather tell someone the honest truth...for instance about what they are wearing...than to lie and then have to look at them in that outfit, ever. again.

    :LOL
    ReplyDelete
  6. I have a tougher time being kind...honesty is my default. I try to phrase it in a nice way..."I could never get away with wearing that." You get the picture?
    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't like lying but maybe that's because I am really good at it. But don't worry, I don't use this power often.
    ReplyDelete
  8. I knew there was a reason I liked you - I can't lie either. Or, I can do it, but really badly and with WAY too many words involved.

    But I DO believe honesty & kindness are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, the kindest thing is saying nothing at all, even when you're DYING to shoot straight & tell it like it is.
    ReplyDelete
  9. Excellent Cara...lying is not in my repertoire either...and I can't do it over the phone either, LOL! Amazes me the people who can. So I too skirt issues!!
    ReplyDelete
  10. I like your honesty and find it refreshing!

    I am just like you as well. I can't lie and generally feel it is not a good idea to do so even if I could. Seems like one lie just leads to another...you know. My MIL will tell me she likes something even when she doesn't in an attempt to be kind, but in the long run it just makes me second guess everything she says. So maybe it is not so kind after all?

    My friends do tell me they ask me question cause they appreciate the fact that I will tell them the truth and yes, I try and be kind while I’m at it. I may not always be the most tactful person....but I mean well. :)
    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm the same way. I err by being too harsh sometime, but I've been told that when I compliment someone over something, they really take it to heart more because I'm not complimenting them about everything all the time.
    ReplyDelete
  12. Some people couldn't be kind if you paid them money. I have an easy time being kind, a harder time telling someone the God's honest truth if I think it will hurt their feelings. I'll admit it: I'm an issue-skirter. I won't lie to your face, but I might hem-haw around the subject.

    However, if someone asks me to give them an opinion, I will give it honestly. So, NO, your butt does NOT look big in those jeans!
    ReplyDelete
  13. I appreciate your candor.

    ;)
    ReplyDelete
  14. I hate to admit, I can lie with the best of 'em. I think it comes from my years on the trading floor...lying and cursing like a trucker when I worked down there. Not good:/
    ReplyDelete
  15. Way easier for me to be kind than honest. Or maybe just to avoid confrontation and not really say what's on my mind...
    ReplyDelete
  16. Never fear..you are not alone in your inability to lie.
    I am exactly the same way!
    Its funny because I have always wished I could, but then I remember that the truth is always so much easier to remember.
    ReplyDelete
  17. Ditto what E. . . said, usually I'm kind before honest, though I do recognize that honesty is kind.

    If I'm not being sincere, I do try not to go over the top.
    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm more honest than not. Unfortunately even when you are kind about it, people don't always take it the best way so I guess it's harder for me to be kind.
    ReplyDelete
  19. This is one of my favorite things about you. Of course, I am pretty similar in this regard...but one thing I hate more than anything is someone who patronizes and then turns around and says something different. To me, that's not kindness OR honesty.
    ReplyDelete

Give me some sugar, baby!

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)