I know you've all been saying to yourselves, where oh where has the Friday Top Ten gone? I love lists, I really do, but doing the FTT started to feel a little flat, so I shelved it until I had something interesting to write. I didn't want to do it just to do it, juknow? But I've been inspired.
Lately, I feel a little on the outside. I just don't seem to fit in with the girl set. Obviously, I'm a woman, I have the scars from the fourth degree tears to prove it, but sometimes I don't think I'm a girl.
Top Ten Reasons I Don't Qualify For The Estrogen Club
1. I love Sci-Fi. Star Wars was my first love and it has only gone on from there. I'm about a half step away from showing up at Comicon in a Princess Leia costume. Btw, have you seen District 9? IT. WAS. AWESOME.
2. I am not a phone person. Which isn't to say that I don't settle in for the occasional telephonic gabfest, but days and days will go by where I don't talk to anyone on the phone other than Neil. And I'm okay with that.
3. I text, but like twice a week. I just don't have that much to share.
4. I don't enjoy shopping. Don't get me wrong, I like looking good, but I just don't enjoy spending much time having to think about it. I want in and out and done with it. And window shopping? Ranks right up there with a root canal.
5. I can't stand reality TV. American Idol, The Bachelor, So You Think You Can Dance, The Hills, Survivor and so on. Major snooze. And sometimes actually kind of creepy/sad.
6. I don't like cleaning. Who does, right? But many women seem to have this compulsion to do it, maybe it's a nesting instinct. Whatever it is, I don't have it. As evidenced by the shetland pony sized dust bunnies galloping around my living room.
7. I have no gift for interior decorating. I just can't seem to visualize the big picture. I would like to buy pages 17, 26 and 43 out of the Pottery Barn catalog and magically transport them to my house.
8. Despite using it for more than 20 years, I still feel hopeless and a little bit Tammy Fae whenever I attempt to apply makeup beyond my basics: bare minerals powder, concealer, mascara and lipstick.
9. I eat like I'm in a competition. Seriously, I can take down a sandwich like a python with its jaw unhinged.
10. Foreplay? Take it or leave it.
There you have it. I'm clearly not a girl. Can we still be friends?