Eleven Months have now passed in the life of Sophie. In a matter of weeks she will see her first birthday. She is now more adept at moving around on her feet although she is still not walking more than a couple of steps independently. We expect that any day now she will let go of the coffee table and make a mad dash for the door. With a backward wave and a see ya later, she'll be off playing with her neighborhood comrades.
I don't talk about it often, but I can see her future. I can see her first days of school. I will cry and she will not. She will love ballet but will run outside after class and jump straight into mud puddles. I can see her laying on the floor coloring in her books. She will have wispy fine blond hair, just like I did as a child, and despite my best efforts, it will often be in tangles from her play. I can see as she becomes a young woman and the changes that she will grow through: strange new body, getting her period, discovering boys. I see her first date, as her daddy stares down the unfortunate fellow who comes to the door. Her exuberance and joy as she runs down the sidewalk. I can see her elation and our fear when she gets her driver's license. I see her looking so beautiful in her prom gown. I see her graduation, the fear and excitement of the transition from child to adult. I can see her in her dorm room, exercising her first real independence, I call five times a day to make sure she's okay. I can see her when she calls to tell me that she has met someone wonderful and that it is getting serious. When she calls to say that he has asked her to be his bride I will cry, tears of joy. And sadness. I can see their wedding, I weep openly when my husband gives her over to this young man, their hearts full of love and hope. I can see her when she tells me that they are expecting their first child and I can say, "Oh, my love, what a world of wonder awaits you!" I can see our grandbabies in my husband's arms.
I can see forever.
I see all of this. And none of it. There will no doubt be sorrow in our lives. But there will be great joy as well. Life is an uncertain thing, but that is most definitely part of the fun.