I have long wanted a garden gnome. How's that for a first sentence. Have I got you hooked? It is the absolute truth, though, however uncool. I look at them longingly in little old ladies' yards and don't even get me started on the traveling gnome. I think he is just about the cutest thing. Plus, who couldn't use a little gnome magic yard protection? I was always a little nervous about what my friends or neighbors would say, though. Would they think I was weird? Is it just too corny? But after much deliberation, I finally decided it was time to satisfy my yen for one of the little men.
As luck would have it, I was wandering through the clearance aisle for the outdoor stuff at my beloved Target when I came across this dignified fellow. Unbelievably, they wanted a mere $2.89 for him. Needless to say, I snatched him up before some other lucky gal caught sight of him. Smugly, I clutched him to my bosom for the long walk to the cashier. The whole drive home all I could think about was how excited I was to get my new friend comfortably positioned in his new home. Once there, I literally bounded out of my car in my enthusiasm, ran up to the front of the house and sat Toby (that's his name, it's short for Tobias) down in a place of honor in the front yard. I even had Neil bring Sophie out so we could admire him as a family. I admit, I worry a little that jealous neighbors might spirit him away, but that's a risk I'll have to take. I mean, really, look at that face. Those eyes, the beard, that toadstool. Just scrumptious.
Here he is next to his favorite bush. What, did you really think I would put a full size gnome in my yard? Not this time.
Don't count it out. I still might.